Day1: "10 things I want to say to 10 different people right now..."
1.We may not talk from time to time but there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you.You've raised me to a Strong Black Woman & seeing the things you went through back them made me want to Strive even more.We may be so close but yet so far apart but it doesn't mean that my head isn't screwed on straight.I'm older now & to you I know I will always be your Baby but all I'm asking you to do is "Be There For Me."
2.In my head I always say I miss you. Hoping & Praying that you hear me but there are times when that little hateful voice in the back of my mind tells me little negative things like, "Get over it! You had your chance & you blew it! You broke your Promise & there's nothing you could do to bring them back., Your a horrible person. He was never proud of you., He was ashamed of you., ect..." but I know it's the devil talking trying to keep me bound in a bunch of depression. All in all I Truly Miss YOU! Wishing I could have had my last dance with you. "All I Want Is For You To Be Proud Of Me."
3.In all things I do, I try to do my best. I keep as well as give you all back to God every single day. Asking him to keep you all safe, cover you all with his blood, give you all wisdom & knowledge, & for Him to make me the best parent that I can be. I can never see my life without all of you. You all are my Sun Shine & though there are times when you all may be a tad bit disobedient I still Love You All regardless of, because I know that growing up is a part of life. I may not be able to give you all the best but I will never put you all last in line. You All Are The Best Angles that any Mother could ever have. I LOVE YOU!
4.Gosh...I'm going to try to do my best with this one but I wont take up all the space.(LOL)
What can I say? We been through it all, we've encountered just about every adult situation before we ourselves were adults. Lost a child but still manage to go through life regardless to what has/have happened. Went our separate ways but God saw it fit & allowed us to cross each other paths again. There was a lot of lies, you say I say mess, & a million reasons why we should not be together. Like Al Green said, "Love & Happiness. Something that make you do wrong but want to do right." WE'VE SHARED IT ALL. I've ALWAYS said & told people, "If my 1st marriage didn't work there was ONLY 1 person that I would be willing to give my ALL too & that person was/is YOU." I can not Thank God enough for the trials he has brought us trough & how he has kept us strong during This/Our journey together. God said, "That when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing." Going through the bitter sweet things is worth the wild and walking through the fire with you. This Love is Truly UNBREAKABLE.
With All My Love
Your Wife
5.With all the things in life that has went on we still manage to be the best of friends. There are times when I haven't heard or spoken to you. Sometimes a year or two but every time I hear your voice it is always a Blessing to know that Our Friendship is a Very Priceless one.
6.I have never met you face to face but you're someone I hold near & dear to my heart. I have no Big Brothers so I adopted you as being one."Smile;-)." There are times when we've stayed on the internet talking for hours on end about everything from Family to husbands & wives going through the motions of separations & divorces. You've even been there to give advice when I needed it. Now I'm hardly online but still that has never stopped you from peaking in on your Little Sister every once in a while. Friends like you come so little & in few numbers. Thank You For Being There When I Needed You Bro.
7.Now we stay in different states & in my heart I have always wanted to be there to protect you. We come from the same mother, father, & the same blood line. We share a relationship so rare that I would never trade it for anything in the world. I miss you as well as the family very much. And there are times when I have great regrets of leaving you 545 miles away. I can't wait to see one of my favorite people in the world. There is no other Brother in the world like you. YOUR THE BEST! I LOVE YOU!
8.I never thought in a million years that I would have encounter such a soul like yours. Many people warned me but still my say so & what I wanted was the last & final say. I walked with you through your life situations & you did the same for me. What we had was very beautiful & sweet. It's something that I never though I would have with such a beautiful person. You've taught me a lot & ripped it all out at the same time. There are times when you had things on your mind and you though that I forgot or didn't hear you. Some of the things I have heard & read was unbelievable for me to in take because I never though that you would go out your way to tear me down like that, but you said you loved me. And in the back of my mind all I could think about is, "If she loved me so much then why would she tear me down like this to folks?" I've stayed up with you many night and even days some times telling you Don't Worry & that Everything Will Be Alright. We argued & fussed. Cussed & Cried. Smiled & Laughed. But NONE of the things made/make me see you any different. Why? Because I know your heart. From time to time I ask myself, "What did I do wrong? What didn't I do right? I must have loved you to much or I must have loved you too little." I feel if I ask then I would never get a straight answer. Many people ask, "Why do you still deal with her?" But they will never know the kind of friendship that we had/have. Do I look for them to understand? "NO I don't!" All I know is when that time comes for me to get the load off my chest will you be ready & willing to respond? Do I regret Loving or Being with you? "NO I don't." No one bit.
9.What can I say about this mini person(LOL). I met you on Zane's website & we've had many conversations most of the time about nothing, then some of the time about everything. It seems as though it doesn't matter what site I'm on your there peeping in say "Hey Hun How You Doing!" On the other day you surprised me by calling and I was excited & shocked to hear from you. But when I didn't talk to you I asked God to keep watch over you & your son and to bless you while you go through your trials & tribulations. I'm glad that he has kept you. Thanks for calling & Thank you for being such a Sweetheart. Smooches Sun Shine.
10.You claim to know so much about me but don't know a damn thing. I guess saving this for last was the best thing to do. You have tried to throw me under the bus for quite some time now & guess what? Get The Hell Over It!!! Life will NEVER bring you any joy if you don't find happiness in yourself. Rumor has it, That I don't like you because of a guy. When in FACT I have told you face to face why I don't give two damns for you. YOU ARE JUST FLAT OUT PLAIN OLD SNEAKY! And there is nothing you or any one could tell me otherwise. You claim to be hurt and heart broken due to what has happened. When you already knew what the deal was. BUT I held no grudge against you. NO ONE DAMN BIT!!! I'm sure when you stop playing the damn victim then you will understand your purpose and what you need to do to make you happy. Until then, "HONEY IF YOU CAN NOT LOVE YOURSELF, HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU OR YOU GOING TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE?" All in all "Get it together & get a fuckin clue!" I bid you all the best in all you do in your life. Stay Blessed.
So I guess I am done...There are a few more people I wanted to say things to but they only said 10 people.
Day 2 coming soon...
Stay Tuned...
God Bless...
Much Love...
