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I've seen, watched, and heard it time & time again,
*I ain't letting my kids see his ass!
*Since you want to leave I'm putting your ass on child support.
*Since your Bitch is there you can't see your kids!
*He a damn deadbeat!
*Do you have a man/woman at home? If you do that doesn't matter.
*You could/can have friends can you?
*Are you faithful?
*He/She won't or don't have to know right?
*Yeah I have a man/woman at home but it ain't serious.
*I'm in the process of leaving/breaking-up/getting a divorce.
*He/She ain't doing or treating me right and I'm tired of his/her bullshit.
*I don't fuck with him/her like that!
*We're not friends.
*That girl is a Hoe!
*Oh, He a damn Dog!
*What he/she needs to do is get there shit together.
*I don't need no damn body!
*She/He thinks they're all that.
*She think she look cute in that dress.
*He thinks he the shit because he dress in Polo.
*Giiirl, He/She be putting it down.
*Shit I have a good man/woman! Look at all the shit they buying, brought, got, or gave me.
*I wish another man/woman would try to fuck with mines.
And the list goes on and on.
People going at one another throats because they feel that the next person is better than them. Folks starting you say, I say mess because they don't like the other person's friendship with the next person., Women putting other women down because of the way they look., Men hating on men because of the way they dress or because of the job they have., Husband/Wives sitting shew-shewing about what goes on behind the close doors in their homes., Young women out to get back at the child(ren) father (I'm talking about the ones who take care of business, house, home, family, his child(ren)) for not wanting to be with them., Men/Women out there cheating just because they can, think their game is tight, or because they feel that they have the right to take out revenge on their mate or the person they're with., Best friends getting into it and breaking up friendships because they want what they friend have., or people who is out to get and be all about them self. It doesn't matter who they hurt, what household, home, life, job, or person(s) life they bring sorrow and madness too, they just do just BECAUSE. Never giving a damn or 2 lovely fucks for the next person(s) life. All they know is "THEY'RE OUT FOR SELF."
All these subjects on this list in itself could go on and on for a lifetime.
Some without a resolution to solve the problem. Some with an easy way to solve the situation.
We've all either seen or been through it before. Where we thought the relationship, friendship, or marriage would last. Forgetting that promises, words, and bonds are sometimes meant to be broken. No one said anything will last forever and if it does it's because there is and was work put into it to make it that way.
Like on today. I was talking to this young woman about her dealing with her feelings towards her kids father and the woman he's currently in a relationship with. So much shit when on in their situation until it will cause a damn head ache to even give you the short version of this story.
Any who,
As I was saying...
This young lady and I were talking about her dealing with her feelings towards her kids father and his girlfriend. She's always saying how she doesn't want her children around that Bitch he call a woman/girlfriend when that should be the least of her problems. Her concerns are in a good place but she's still worried about the next woman.
Like I told her,
"You and your children's father need to come to some kind of common ground on how the two of you are going to handle things when it come down to your children."
but that seems to go in one ear and out the other. When will people see, when a relationship is really over it is just that OVER. Kids DO NOT keep a man/woman. Trust me when someone want's to leave they will do just that LEAVE.
As I told her,
"Yes, things may have been good in beginning but sometimes things and love grow old. Some times it run it course and some times things do go bad. Some times it could/can be saved & some times it can't. We're not always meant to be with the person we have kids for. One person can't make a relationship work, it takes two. And you sure in the hell can't make it work when the next person isn't willing to put in or do what it takes to make it work out."
Her thing will before ever this,
I'm not about to waste my time talking to him when he didn't put his family nor his children into consideration when he left to be with that Bitch. I Feel like I DO NOT need to talk to him when it come down to my children. I don't have to tell him shit. No! My children not getting his last name. NONE of my children getting their daddy last name because I don't want them to have it.
To me there is nothing that could be said or done to make this young woman change her mind about her children father. She's not having it!
Their relationship went bad due to things they brought on them self. They both got tired of one another but didn't have the balls, nuts, guts, or will to tell one another how they felt., There were cheating on one another with people they knew and so-called relatives., Things in the home where undone and not being taken care of., The trust was gone and washed away., Business was always in the streets., and the Love and Affection part was totally flushed down the drain. They forgot what it was like when they 1st met. They forgot what it took to keep their family together. Let's not forget the so-called friend(s) had a few words or two and even a say in their relationship as well. When you have all of that bullshit going on there is no way that you could keep anything. Not even your damn mind.
I even told this young woman for the way that the two started out in the beginning there is no way they should hate one another or not be friends with each other. The children father has/have always been a provider and did things for his family/children. They were never ever without when it came to their father and the minute things went sour he was all kinds of muthafucka's and bitches. He was nothing and her children didn't need a fuckin thing from him. From there it turned into a war and they all were trying to bring someone down with them. It didn't matter who knew the business and how it went down. All they knew was I'm GOING TO DO ME NO MATTER WHO I HURT OR WHAT I SAY. I've done had enough of this relationship and it's time for it to END!
The young woman now ex's best friend felt like,
"Hell since she don't want him then I'll take him. I need a new fool to take care of me and mines because my children father knows his children are for him but his ass refuse to take care of his responsibility. He would rather sit and play a video game then take care of his family or even find a job., Now I got a man to PAY ALL MY BILLS. I'd be stupid if I was to let him go. and I don't give a fuck if we were friends! She didn't want him and he's a man that works 2 jobs so I'LL TAKE HIM and he could be/play DADDY with and too my children. But let me see if she STILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?"
While all the mess was going on they ALL forgot about the children that were involved. No one paid attention to how things were done in front of them. No one cared to lower their voices or ask the kids to step out while all the madness was going on. All they knew was their mommy & daddy was getting into it. The young woman that was their mommy's best friend and the lady they called Teedie was at one another throats. While they watched as their life and family fell apart. They never took the time out to sit the children down and explain to them what was going on and how sometimes mommy's and daddy's don't always stay together.
In the end she made it perfectly clear that her children weren't going to see their dad due to him being with her ex best friend.
All in all I feel bad for the children in this situation.
Relationships are crazy these days. No one wants to take the time out in getting to know one another. Some people only want to have a one night stand, some want their bills paid, some want money, some want it because the dick is big/the pussy is new or so-called the best, so want it because they love the way the ass can shake, some want it because they love having more than one woman/man, some want whatever it is they can/could get out of the situation, but very few really want it for love and because they want something good.
I've been there and done the being the "Side Line Piece". Not saying that I'm proud of it but we live and we learn. Some of us feel that we have a reason and some don't have a reason for doing it at all. Whatever the reason it still didn't make it right for me/us to do the thing we've done.
There is no good that will come from being the sideline piece either. It may seem like it when things start off but you will get tired of it real quick. Your going to get tired of giving yourself, your time, your body to that person. Letting them come lay inside or on top of you when it's convenient for them. Spending what you feel, call, and think is Quality Time when they have the time to do so. or Leaving at the end of what seems like a love/passion session while your left in your bed or hotel room alone. Those nights and special times are going to get very old and you're going to be ready for it all to just STOP. Not unless your just a low down dirty person who don't give a damn about the next man/woman sitting at home thinking that their mate, man, woman, husband, wife, s/o is out there being faithful to them.
I feel that when someone tries to get with you they should be man or woman to tell the truth. Wither they have someone or not. They should always give you the chance to make up your mind on if your going to deal with them or not. If all they want to do is FUCK then let that be known. Make sure that you lay your cards on the table and give that person some kind of respect by being truthful. You know how the saying goes, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE TO KICK IT!" Some men/women even play the "Feelings" card. You know the ones who use their so-called feelings as a way to get some ass. Love isn't a word that people should play with. Not when it comes down to dealing with another person and their feelings. When someone feelings is involved it's a whole new ball game. Stop making up stories on how you're planing to leave your relationship/marriages when you really don't plan on moving no damn where. Stop lying about your home life and how it's so-called falling apart when it's really not. Stop lying on your man/woman telling the next man/woman that they aren't paying you any attention or showing you any affection. Lying on how your lacking pussy and dick because they are too tired to give you any. And PLEASE STOP lying about not getting HEAD (That goes for men/women.) You know how it goes, "Sex use to be good between us but it done slowed down. I give him/her head and they don't even return the favor." or it's "I can't even tell you the last time he/she done that for me.".
If you have someone at home and they are a good man/woman then stick to that. Because it's VERY RARE this day and age. Learn to deal with that person because I'm sure that person learned to deal with you. It's not worth it to lie and lose your good thing for something that will last ONLY A FEW MINUTES. And if your mate, man, or woman doesn't do something then try to talk about it. See if it's something that the two of you can experience together as a couple. Most people make dealing with the opposite so hard to do. When it's not that hard. Yes, you will have up's and down's, Yes, you will go through hard times, Yes, you will have your moments but that's all apart of life. What is it going to profit you if you cheat when you have someone good at home? Some go about doing their thing thinking they're going to get away with the dirt they did but like the old saying goes "KARMA IS A BITCH!" and no one likes Karma.
If you are a person with a problem or situation in your relationship and you feel that you can't handle it or don't want to deal with it any longer, Move The Hell On. It may not be easy to start over and new but always close one door before opening the next. Don't bring the next man/woman problem from the previous relationship they don't deserve the bullshit. Matter of fact no man/woman deserves anything from the previous relationship. They deserve a fair chance at a clean start like any other individual does.
There's also those men and women who don't mind living the complicated life. The ones who don't mind being the side piece because at the end of the day they don't have to deal with your ass. All they need you for is a nut or to wet their ass/dick and then go your ass back home to where you came from. I know, sounds harsh doesn't it but that's life.
I some times hear people talk about how they're fed up with being with their s/o. I've heard them call one another out their name like they never meant shit to them. I sit there and look at them like, "Your saying all of this now because your mad/angry. It's a relationship and your suppose to go through things. Everything in this life can't be peachy king but the minute something is done that you don't like is the same damn minute you go to calling that person out of their name and for what? Knowing good and fuckin well your going to be in that persons face and hugging and kissing them the minute things boil over."
I'm sure when some relationships 1st started out there was no bullshit. Every thing was all breezy and clear, lovely, birds chirping, heart pounding, and every day it was I love you's and I miss you's. Somewhere in the mix was beautiful dates, flowers, and little sweet love notes. Mixed in with late nite dinners and pulling over to the side quickies.
If your going to be in a relationship then do just that.Learn to put in the work to make it the best that it can be. Know that communication is a HUGE MUST when dealing with someone. Honesty and Trust are a very important role in the whole situation. If things started out fine, well, and good then remember to keep doing those things that got you two to that point. Always be willing too keep the fire in you relationship that is always something that will keep him/her at home. Keep in mind you don't have to go or be fancy to take the one you are getting to know, care about, and love out. Most exciting things happen at home where any and everything goes. Stop telling your business, putting and letting people get in your business. Never post your life situations and what your going through on a public forum/site. Your business is not the morning, afternoon, evening, or late night news. If you give no one nothing to talk about then they can never say anything about you.
All in all Keep Your Business To Yourself.
Some of the same rules apply to friendships as well. They only difference is that your dealing with someone you call your friend. A person that you think will have your back no matter what. Some times we as men and women have to be careful of who we call friend/be-friend. Ever person we meet and know can't be called or looked at as a friend. We must get to know the individual before we make any other steps or move on to the next level.
We can only take things one day at a time.
When life teaches you a lesson learn from it. Learn from the mistakes that were made the last time and try not to repeat them.
I'm not saying I'm perfect but I know that I refuse to deal with the bullshit. Just because some of my friends know that they could/can come talk to me about anything doesn't mean that I'm going to sit there and sugarcoat shit for any of them. Do I expect for them to be the same way with me? YES, I expect for them to be woman/man enough to tell me the honest truth about what and how they feel about everything. Including Me.
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