Understanding, Truth, Honesty, & Communication Goes A Long Ways

The Lord say's the same by next year I will be marrying my High school Sweetheart (I will be Mrs. Greg A. Hoard)...We first started dating in school when we were about 14yrs. Old... When we first laid eyes on one another it was LOVE AT 1ST SIGHT...From that moment on I knew I wanted to be this young man's EVERYTHING...I know what your thinking...How in the hell did she know what love was at that age? Well, when God shows you something, then you could best believe it's going to come true...
Like all high school sweetheart we where always around on another...When you saw him there I was and when you saw me there he was...We shared up's & down's, broke up only too make up, people throwing salt because they hated too see us with each other, and soforth and so on...But unlike other teenagers we were very mature for our age...During our 9-10 year relationship we went through some serious adult problems & issues...At the age of 19 we lost our 1st born daughter...I will never forget how that changed our lives...October 31 will always remain in our hearts forever...Had God saw it fit for our daughter too live she would have been 16yrs. Old and just as beautiful as her Mother & Sisters... After that great lost we tried to hold things together, but it didn't turn out that way...We started to be more of an "off & on" couple instead of a "loving couple"...The pressure on me wanting to settle down didn't match too well with his not being ready to be in a committed relationship...So in 2000 we finally cut it off and went our separate ways...

In 2002 I married one of my long time friends...Before I got married I always prayed that Greg(my soon too be new husband) and I would run across each other paths once more...There were times when I felt like, "If I could just one more glance or chance just too let him know that I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM." but that chance never came true...I walked down the asile knowing good and well that I didn't want to marry my long time friend...Wishing it was Greg standing there waiting for me with that smile that I loved so much...I even hoped that he would burst through the doors of the church and pull a Dwayne-Wayne from A Different World act (blushing because I know he would have)...But that never came true either...When I said I do too my soon to be ex-husband I did love him, part of me was in love, but he wasn't the man that held my heart...When I got married I felt that, "Oh well I should do it now because the person I want too be married too is not around."...Anywho after all was said and done I consitrated more on being Mrs. Spencer Johnson Sr. and took care of my children... All while in the back of my head, holding Greg very close and tight to my heart... I always prayed for God to keep him and protect him and I also prayed that he would never find anyone to love him like I did (forgive me for being selfish)...

A year or so passed and that's when I heard the big news that the love of my life had married and he was doing well, fine, and happy..."DAMN-IT!!!" I thought to myself... I was in disbelief, denial, but most of all hurt...How could I have felt that way whenever single time I fell on my knees and ask that he be happy?...After a while my heart started to accept the fact that my beloved had another...
Years had past and I thought that my love for this man would die, but it didn't... Instead of dying it grew... It became stronger than ever and regardless of how hurt me deeply was I still prayed for God to keep, protect, watch, and bless him in everything he said and did...That he did...

In 2007 Greg found me on MySpace...Like all lost old friends, we chatted about family, life, and nothing...Just catching up on old times and asking one another how life has treated us...Knowing in the back of my mind that I was excited and I saw my chance ... Tell the man that I loved that I was :STILL IN LOVE" with him...But it was not the right time to let him know those things...Anyway's we remained friends and talking too one another every so often..
.
The following year Greg & I got to see each other and what I thought was gone was still there... Once more I laid eyes on him...Only to see that he was damn near 20yrs. Older but still looked the same the day I laid eyes on him when we were younger...One look and I was automatically his... That same day I let him know that "I WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM."...I didn't care if he didn't respond back, I didn't care if he didn't love me back, all I know is I wanted him to know that I was still very deeply in love with him...When I told him I was scared at first but then I felt like, "Well NeShawn, this is all or nothing." and I didn't even care what the out come was...
To my surprise Greg let me know a few things about what he had been feeling, thinking, and praying to God for...I was excited, shocked, emotional, but most of all hurt because of the dramatic changes he had too go through and because I wasn't there to hold him or his hand... After the 1st time seeing one another in almost 10yrs. Greg let me know that he loved me and he was still in love with me, but he didn't want us to mess things up by making a mistake that we both would regret... Being his friend I understood...But being the woman that still loved and care for him was hurt...then I started to think...Maybe things are better this way...Maybe this is God's sign letting me know that Hreg wasn't the one for me...
During that time I was so "Gun'Ho" about being back with him, but I knew that he had to be sure of himself... Later on that year Greg and I had a very long talk...A talk that was to be had...He let me know that he was ready and that he didn't want to be ready when he wanted to but he wanted God to let him know when he was ready...But we had more drama, mess, and bs ahead of us...
|When Greg and I got back together with one another we vowed to each other that there wasn't one thing but God that would come in between us...

In October/Novemeber 2010 Greg came and moved our children and I from San Antonio,Texas and moved us back to our hometown New Orleans...Here is where we begun our new life together...And like all relationships we have our days, but I love what God has brought together now...There is so much understanding between the both of us...He communicates with me fine but me on the other hand still has a shy side too her...In my heart I feel like I don't have a want or need in this world because I am & will always be forever grateful to the family God has blessed me with now...

Greg is the one man that I have always loved...I don't think I really gave another man a chance to really love me like he dodo I regret being and feeling that way? No, I don't... All those times and all those years I went though being a wife to another man while still being in love with the man I lost so many years ago...I remember Greg telling me that he learned a lot from me... Like, "If you love something or someone let it go. And if it is meant to be then God will send or give that something or someone right back too you."... I'm glad to know that he kept that lesson in mind because it lets me know that I was in his heart, mind, and soul just as much as he was in the mines...

Greg is my Gaurdian Angel in so many ways...He's my confidant, my lover, my homie, my boy, my blanket when I'm cold, my honey in my tea, my adviser when I need advice, my husband, (and some other things I can not say...LOL) but most of all he's my BEST FRIEND...And that I could never find anywhere else...Yes, he was/is the same man that broke my heart when we were younger but I wouldn't have had it any other way...Yes, he was/is the same man that was not around when I needed him but I wouldn't change what we've been through for anything in this world...I wouldn't change any pof those trials and tribulations for nothing...I would go through them all over again just too get back too where we are now...I know that sounds crazy but hey, it is what it is...

Right now I'm still in the process of going through my divorce too my soon to be ex-husband...And I must say that Greg has been supportive in all of it...He didn't run and nor does he ever want to...I couldn't have been any happier than what I am now...

I know that the title of my blog is "Understanding, Truth, Honesty, & Communication Goes A Long Ways"...Reason for that is because I have and share all of these things with my soon too be new husband...I can not think of any other person too share this part of my life with...I Thank God every single day for giving and blessing my children & I with the right man, father, husband, and friend figure in our lives...Because he is an Understanding person...His words are his bond and thet are true till the end...His honesty may some times hurt but it's also for the good and the better of our lives, relationship, children, and household, and his communication is something that I yearned for in a soul mate for a long time...Not jjst for me or my sake but for our children and their sake as well...

Each family & household needs a Father, Husband, & Male figure in the home... I know Mother is and will always be there, but there is only so much that she can do...But God made man the head of the household...

It's been 1 year and some months that we have been together as well as living together and I must say that God knows how to put you and that person back together... Like the word say, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

I LOVE YOU BABY
YOUR SOON TOO BE WIFE
Mrs. Greg A. Hoard