Out At The Club...10 Situations That Pisses Me Off Last-Night

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Out At The Club...10 Situations That Pisses Me Off Last-Night

     

I WAS JUST STRAIGHT STANK-FACED AT SOME OF THE THINGS I SAW LAST NIGHT….

“HELL TO DA NAH!!!’

OK SO LAST-NIGHT I WENT WITH MY SISTER TO HER JOB…I SAT THERE HAD DRINKS AND EVEN LAUGHED WITH HER & HER CO-WORKER…AND LIKE EVERY HORNY TOAD IN THE CLUB THEY WERE LOOKING, CALLING, AND ASKING MY SISTER QUESTIONS…IT’S NOT THAT I DIDN’T ENJOY MYSELF BUT…I WAS THE NEW FACE IN THE PLACE & EVERYONE KNEW IT…YOU SEE WHERE I’M FROM WHEN YOU LIVE ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE RIVER/CITY HERE IT’S LIKE YOUR AN OUT OF TOWNEE…AND THEN, THERE ARE SOME THINGS PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION BEFORE THEY WALK OUT THEIR DOOR GOING TO THE CLUB…

1.WOMEN WHO WARE LOUD COLOR ALL-INTO-ONES,JUMPERS, CATSUITS, SPANDEX OUTFITS, ECT….”PLEASE” GO FIND YOUR ASS A MATCHING PAIR OF SHOES TO GO WITH THAT…I MEAN LIKE REALLY…WHITE FREAKIN SHOES…FOR CRYING OUT LOUD…SAVE YOURSELF & YOUR WHITE SHOES FROM BEING THE CENTER OF ATTRACTION…

2.I KNOW SOME TIMES PEOPLE CAN’T HOLD THEMSELVES & THERE ARE TIMES WHEN PEOPLE REALLY HAVE TO GO…BUT MY THING IS THIS, “SAVE YOUR STANIN-LOADS & #2’S FOR HOME…HELL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T HAVE TO PASS ONE AT THE CLUB…BECAUSE LORD KNOWS SOME OF THESE WOMEN BE FOUL…”WOMEN IF YOU FOUND THE REST ROOM CLEAN THEN HELL KEEP IT THAT WAY”…DON’T NO BARMAID OR ANYONE ELSE WANT TO SMELL YOUR STANKIN ASS OR PUSSIES…LEARN TO THROW YOUR “PERSONALS” (AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN THEN I’LL TELL YOU) YOUR PADS & TAMPONS IN THE DAMN TRASH…NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT MESS…AND MAKE SURE YOU WASH YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU STEP OUT YOUR DAMN DOOR AND GO SHAKE YOUR ASS IN A CLUB FULL OF SUSPECTS THAT CAN SMELL YOU ALL THE WAY FROM ACROSS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN CLUB…AND MEN!!!! OH WHEE BOY I TELL’YA!!! LEARN HOW TO PISS IN THE DAMN TOILET…I’M SURE YOU DON’T PISS ON THE FLOORS AT YOUR DAMN HOUSE SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT IN THE DAMN PUBLIC???

#IJS

3.AS FAR AS SOME OF THESE THICK WOMEN (BECAUSE I AM A THICK WOMAN MYSELF) DRESS IN MODEST APPAREL…OF COURSE A WOMAN LOVE TO LOOK GOOD (AND I’M SURE ALOT OF THEM THINK THEY DO) BUT DAMN!!! DON’T TRY TO SQUEEZE A SIZE 14/16 OR 16/18 ON A BODY THAT WEARS A 22/24, 24/26, & 26/28…HELL NAH!!! THAT SHIT IS NOT CUTE…HOW CAN YOU BE COMFORTABLE IN CLOTHES LIKE THAT…I MEAN “FOR REAL” JUST TOO LOOK GOOD OR CATCH SOME MAN’S EYE AT THE CLUB??? “NO!!!” MEN AS WELL…DON’T COME IN WITH A SHIRT FROM BABY GAP, POLO KIDS, OR WHITE TEE THAT IS 2 TO 3 SIZES WAY TO SMALL FOR YOU…THAT’S NOT HANDSOME & IT SURE IN THE HELL AIN’T G.Q.!!! OH AND ANOTHER THING!!! PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP AND PUT ON A DAMN BELT…THE BELT IS NOT USE OR MEANT TO WEAR BELOW YOUR DAMN ASS OR AROUND YOUR DAMN ANKLES…THAT JUST NASTY (IN MY CLEVELAND VOICE)…I KNOW YOUR MOTHER’S HAVE TAUGHT YOU SOME KIND OF HOME TRAINING…HELL USE IT!!! ACT LIKE YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT YOUR TO BE A LADY & ACT LIKE YOUR FATHER TAUGHT YOU TO BE A MAN…“AND PLEASE, PEOPLE PLEASE, PUT SOME DAMN FRESHNESS UNDER THEM DAMN ARMS AND WOMEN SHAVE THOSE DAMN ARM PITS”…SO REALLY YOU JUST GONE COME TO THE CLUB WITH A HALTER TOP OR SUNDRESS ON WITH BUCKWHEAT UNDER YOUR ARMS RIGHT???      

4.WOMEN & THEIR DAMN HAIR…OH LAWD…DO I REALLY NEED TO GO HERE??? HELL NAH I AIN’T…SHIT JUST MAKE SURE YOUR HAIR IS COMB OR DONE BEFORE YOU SO-CALL YOUR SELF STEPPING OUT IN THE STREETS…

5.PEOPLE WHO DRINK OR GET DRUNK…IF YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ASS IS WAY TO DRUNK TO CONTINUE YOUR NIGHT, THEN DO YOURSELF A FAVOR…S.T.O.P. DRINKING FOR A WHILE OR GO YOUR DRUNK ASS HOME…AIN’T NO PERSON IN THEIR RIGHT DAMN MIND WANT YOUR SLURRIN TALKIN, SPITTING ALL OVER THE PLACE MOUTH HAVING, TAKA VODKA, WILD TURKEY GULPING, FUNKY BREATH HAVING ASS OVER THEIR SHOULDER ASKING FOR A DRINK…

6.LADIES & GENTLEMEN…IF YOU KNOW THAT YOUR GRILL IS OUT IN THE FRONT, PLEASE FIND SOME OTHER WAY TO SMILE…DO GO IN SOMEONES FACE THINKING IT’S COOL TO SHOW THAT YOUR BALD-HEADED IN THE DAMN MOUTH…I KNOW THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN’T AFFORD NEW CHOPPERS BUT REALLY??? “STOP LETTING PEOPLE SEE YOUR PARKING LOT WHEN THERE AREN’T ANY CARS PARKED IN IT!!!

7.FOR SOME OF THESE WOMEN WHO ENTICE SOME OF THESE MEN AND THEN WHEN THEY COME DANCING ALL UP ON YOU, YOU WANT TO GET OFFENDED…”CUT THAT SHIT OUT” BECAUSE IF YOU WASN’T ENTICING THEM FROM THE JUMP THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN…STOP DANCING LIKE A STRIPPER ON THE DAMN CHAIRS IN THE DAMN CLUB…YOU GIVING “FATHER TIME” (OLD MEN) SOMETHING TO WATCH…BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW MOST OF THEM DON’T GET ANY LOVIN AT HOME…SO STOP GIVING THEIR ASSES SOMETHING TO BE GAWKING OVER AND ABOUT…STOP PUTTING YOUR LEGS ALL AROUND A MANS NECK IN THE DAMN CLUB AS WELL…HELL HE’S NOT THE DAMN STRIPPER POLE (EVEN THOUGH THAT’S WHAT HE’S THINKING)…THERE IS A TIME & PLACE FOR EVERYTHING…AND AS FAR AS I KNOW YOU MAKE YOUR DUCKIES & DOLLARS AT THE “STRIP CLUB”!!!

8.IF YOUR GOING TO GO OUT IN A GROUP THEN BE AS A GROUP…IF ONE PERSON GETS DRUNK THEN HELL HAVE THEIR DAMN BACK…DON’T LET THEM CONTINUE TO DRINK & DRINK…AND USE UP ALL THEIR MONEY…THAT’S JUST FUCKED UP!!! DON’T LEAVE ONE PERSON BEHIND BECAUSE THEY SO-CALLED MET THIS FINE WOMAN OR HANDSOME MAN EITHER…BECAUSE IF SOMETHING WAS TO HAPPEN TO THEM YOU WOULD BE THE LAST ONE WHO KNEW WHEN & WHERE THEY WERE…ALL & ALL HAVE ONE ANOTHER BACK…

9.D.J.’S WITH EQUIPMENT THAT REALLY DON’T WORK…LOOK, “I’M SURE YOU MAKE MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY…HELL YOU SHOULD, WHY IN BETWEEN SELLING YOUR BOOT-LEG MUSIC, MOVIES, & D.J.’ING YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY YOU EXTRA EXTENSION CORDS & SPEAKER WIRES…HELL NO ONE WANTS TO PAY A D.J. WHO MUSIC GOES OUT EVERY 2 DAMN MINUTES…I KNOW I WOULD!!!

10.LEAVE THE CLUB KNOWING YOU HAD A GOOD TIME…DON’T BE ACTING A FOOL, MAD CAUSE YOUR MAN OR WOMAN WAS LIKING AT SOMEONE ELSE ASS OR NICE LOOKING GUY…HELL AT THE END OF THE NIGHT THEY GOING HOME WITH YOUR ASS “REMEMBER!!!” SO GO HOME KNOWING YOU HAD A GOOD TIME AND IF YOUR GOING TO ANOTHER CLUB THEN DO SO & KEEP HAVING YOU A WONDERFUL TIME…DRAMA IS EVERYWHERE SO WHY IN THE HELL BRING IT WITH YOU EVERYWHERE???
#SAVE IT!!!

SO IF YOU ARE EITHER ONE OR ALL OF THESE PEOPLE…PLEASE TAKE OUT THE TIME TO RE-THINK YOU, YOURSELF, OTHERS, YOUR SURROUNDINGS, YOUR SELF RESPECT, BUT MOST OF ALL “YOUR WORTH”!!!
#GET IT TOGETHER…